Is your anxiety getting the better of you? Do you tend to think worse case scenario? Here are a few tips to help turn calamity styles of thinking into calm, cool, and composed conclusions.
Did you ever read the Mr. Men series? One of my favourite stories of these beautifully written children's books is Mr. Jelly. For those who don't know Mr. Jelly, he is a manic worrier who makes a mountain out of every molehill! He "wobbles" over everything and anything, and he is definitely not alone! Many clients come into the counselling room with anxiety caused by the way they think. I see a similar style of thinking in so many people that I thought it important to write this blog with the hope it may help individuals better understand, and cope, with their own anxiety.
Much anxiety (and depression) can be caused by what psychologists refer to as catastrophic thinking, or magnification. Catastrophizing, is a style of thinking that commonly leads to us to believe in the worst possible outcome or outcomes of a situation, relationship, or event. It's an automatic self-destructive form of thinking that perpetuates negative feelings and drives us to experience severe dis-ease, or anxiety. People catastrophize all the time, even over the smallest things, and it doesn't matter which culture you're from; catastrophizing is a universal human trait common among us all!
Style is everything.
As human beings, we tend to repeat the way we think, which leads us to develop personalized styles of thinking. The key to undoing catastrophic thinking is to firstly understand your style of thinking. This can be done though daily journaling or simply thinking about a situation you are currently facing and writing down your immediate thoughts about that situation.
What do you notice about your thoughts? Are they negative or are they positive? How many are negative? How many are positive? How many are neutral?
To understand the intensity of your anxiety look at how much of your thinking is negative and how much is positive. If your thoughts are mostly negative then this could be why your anxiety is very overwhelming....because thoughts greatly impact feelings and the way our brains and bodies react.
Your thoughts represent your expectations, or "schemas," which are preconceived ideologies about the world that have been built on previous personal experiences. Children who have experienced adverse childhood events (ACEs), and adults who have experienced trauma (such as Mr. Jelly), may see the world as wholly negative because they've been intensely hurt and let down. They've experienced so much pain and suffering that they may have the expectation that nothing in the world is good, and this expectation can quickly manifest into a habitual style of worse case thinking that leads to anxiety and/or depression.
So, how can you unravel the puzzle of worst case thinking?
Identify your worst case thought/s and challenge them.
I'll say that again! Identify your worst case thoughts and challenge them. Ask yourself what is the likelihood of this outcome happening, i.e. how real is the outcome? What is the evidence for this? Then ask yourself what other possible outcomes exist? I like to metaphorically call this "Rubix cube thinking" because a worst case scenario is just one side of a situation (or cube!) - there are other possible outcomes (patterns of thinking) which you just haven't figured out yet.
Just like you have to think differently to complete each side of a Rubix cube, you have to think differently to change worst case thinking!
Once you've identified the quality and quantity of your thoughts, you can start to work on changing them. Decatastrophizing is a way of restructuring worst case thinking to allow more rational and realistic thinking to take place, and it involves challenging our negative beliefs which are drivers of negative expectations. Beliefs are learned attitudes and can be changed if we are open to new ideas and cognitive formations. Again, it's like using a Rubix cube - we have to twist and turn through our thinking to understand how we managed to come up with that particular belief (or side of the cube!). And, just like learning that different patterns exist for changing the sides of a Rubix cube, if we can learn to change our pattern of thinking, this is the starting point to completing the puzzle! So when life stressors and difficult situations hit, remember there is always a choice about which side or sides we choose to see!
If we understand that different possibilities exist, and that we are focusing only on the worst ones, we can start to manage our catastrophic thinking and create a brighter and lighter outlook.
Switch negative to positive.
Whatever situation you're feeling anxious about, write down as many of your worst case possible outcomes as you can think of. Then, for each negative outcome, write down one positive outcome. If you can't think of any possible positive outcomes then write down the opposite outcome for each negative outcome. This will create positivity. Now pick one of the positive outcomes and focus on that. Practice repeating it to yourself during your day. Say it first thing in the morning when you wake up, and last thing at night before you go to sleep. Write it down and hang it on your bathroom mirror and your kitchen fridge. Leave a copy of it on your desk at work or in your school locker. Post it on a post-it note on the dashboard of your car. Carry this positive outcome everywhere you go.
After focusing on positive more realistic outcomes rather than deeply pessimistic negative outcomes, you may eventually start to see a shift in how you manage life.
Practice makes perfect.
Switching styles of thinking from catastrophic to decatastrophic is a process which can take time to become habitual. Practice focusing on positive outcomes daily, and seek counselling support where necessary.
If you practice challenging your worst case thinking, eventually you can change the way you think...and even if the worse case scenario happens, no matter how big or small it is, you'll be better at handling it because your thinking will have changed to allow you to cover all sides!
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